at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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