oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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