Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
