After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
