I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
