bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
