Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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