What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
