Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize