You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
