It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
