Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was confusing and full of hummus
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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