You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
