similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
