so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
