grandma shit on top of the toilet
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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