I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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