with your own penis?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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