please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Randomize
