? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
