wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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