You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize