Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
