East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
