I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
