Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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