SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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