i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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