You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
