pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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