But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
