I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
