i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
