Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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