How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
