i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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