I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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