Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
