DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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