wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
