i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize