Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
