The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
