It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
