When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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