But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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