When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I don't deserve a penis
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
