I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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