Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
