summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
