he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
