do herpes really smell.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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