I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
