Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't

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(253): View more from Washington

Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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(212): View more from New York

Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday

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(937): View more from Ohio

Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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(815): View more from Illinois

So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.

(815): View more from Illinois

Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.

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(310): View more from California

Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub

(310): View more from California

Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!

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