I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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