And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
