You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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