so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
