If i come over, it means nothing
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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