Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
COCAINE IS GR8
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
