Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
