i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
