forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
