I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
